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"Glee": Five Lines that Should Change Your Mind

28 Apr

I’d hardly be the first to suggest that Glee is neither as subversive or as progressive as its quirky humour and ‘inclusive’ cast of characters might suggest — but this week’s episode, “Home”, seems to me to be a tipping point in terms of bad, bad politics. If you love Glee for some reason, I think this might be the week to reconsider your feelings.

I give you five lines — selected from many — that should change your mind.

1) “Hold up, did she just say she was going to eat us?”

Mercedes goes on a diet this week, after being ordered by Sue Sylvester to lose ten pounds. As a plot point, this probably had to happen at some point: after all, can a larger woman appear regularly on television without at some point having to acknowledge a wish to change her body? While I’m not surprised that such a plot line emerges in the show, I’m floored by the way in which it’s executed.

First, it’s made clear that the slim and attractive cheerleader characters are all normally on some version of Mercedes’s diet, and that they pragmatically regard subsisting on a (frankly deadly) liquid diet as the price they must pay for their status. When Mercedes is made miserable by her diet — starting to picture her classmates as cakes and hamburgers before she faints in the cafeteria — the “maintext” message is something along the lines of “diets don’t work, and crash diets are really really bad!”. But why is it Mercedes, the heavier African-American character, whose appetite is so enormous that it has to be caricatured, if numerous other characters are on the same diet? The subtext here is clear: to me, this moment dramatizes any number of cultural anxieties about the unruly appetites and voracious carnality of ‘plus-sized’ women — and perhaps yet more problematically, about the unruly appetites and voracious carnality of women of colour.

2) “You’re so lucky. You’ve always been at home in your body.”

It gets worse after the cafeteria scene, as Mercedes and Quinn bond in the nurse’s office about their experiences with food. Quinn tells Mercedes that she’s “been there, hating [herself] for eating a cookie”, but that she’s “[gotten] over it”. Mercedes acknowledges the racial difference here, saying that Quinn probably had a reasonably easy time coming to terms with her thin cheerleader body and “white girl butt”.

But it’s not being white and thin and popular that’s made it possible for Quinn come to terms with food: it is instead the magic power of white-lady motherhood. “When you start eating for someone else,” she says, “so they can grow and be healthy, your relationship to food changes. What I realized was, if I’m so willing to eat right to take care of this baby, why am I not willing to do it for myself?”.

Two things there. First, Quinn’s tummy appears to be smaller than it was before Christmas. Is she not still pregnant? Is she in fact eating? And second, why, in the 21st century, do we have a plot where a mean white girl gets mystically transformed by impending motherhood into — what, Harriet Beecher Stowe?

Worse still:”You’re so lucky,” Quinn says. “You’ve always been at home in your body. Don’t let Miss Sylvester take that away from you.”

What does it mean when a character who personifies white middle American femininity enviously declares a larger African-American woman to be “at home in her body”? Does she long to be free from the shackles of conventional beauty? To be “at home” in a body that gives in to its appetites, regardless of social consequence?

Julia Starkey has written an essay, “Fatness and Uplift” (included in Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby’s book Lessons from the Fat-o-Sphere) that provides a really excellent comment on this kind of thinking.

My experience of being a fat black woman has not been a fat-acceptance wonderland. I don’t feel like I have been shamed for my body, but I have felt pressure to have a more socially acceptable body size…. Because of the history and attitudes in my community, I feel a responsibility to act in a manner that adheres to a strict code of conduct. Part of the code is hiding its existence from mainstream white culture. I struggle with those pressures when I don’t feel like pulling myself together, when I want to toss a scarf over my messy hair and go grab some milk at the store, when I want to snarl at someone rather than do racism 101 for the umpteenth time. Being told by white women that I have it easy when it comes to my body image dismisses all of the complexities and difficulties of my identity and reduces them to “Cosmo says you’re fat. Well, I ain’t down with that!”.
Making assumptions about someone’s identity and culture based on fragments of pop culture is dehumanizing….Sometimes what you think is fact is based on false premises. Black women do not live in a fat-acceptance utopia, and you’re making racist assumptions if you think they do. (Emphasis mine.)

Of course it’s possible to read Quinn’s comment as one about Mercedes’s self-confidence in general. But — if it’s not that, or not just that, it’s also a comment about longing to cross to the other side, to the “fat-acceptance utopia” of African-American culture. As Starkey makes clear, that’s a longing that depends on false assumptions about other peoples’ lives. When you combine these false assumptions with the power dynamic implicit in the interaction between Quinn and Mercedes, you’ve got a major problem on your hands.

And don’t tell me that it didn’t ring false to you when Quinn’s hand was the first one raised in the auditorium when Mercedes asked, “how many of you feel fat?”. Or — when it turned out that Mercedes’s grand gesture of resistance to Sue Sylvester was a bland performance of a Christina Aguilera song about self-esteem.

3) “You always give me the right advice, Mr. Schuester.”

Am I wrong, or does “good advice” in Glee always get passed from a person with more power to a person with less power? This week April appears. She’s now not only a drunk, but also the mistress of a very old, very wealthy strip-mall owner — which doesn’t stop her from throwing herself at Will. Despite being in the midst of a divorce, Will declines her advances, and gives her kind, brotherly (or fatherly, or paternalistic) advice: “Are you really where you want to be? Being somebody’s mistress? Don’t you think you deserve a little bit more than that?…You’re always going to feel empty inside until you really find a home.” She agrees to ditch the old man, saying, “You always give me the right advice, Mr. Schuester.”

And thank goodness for his advice: when April ditches the old man, who promptly drops dead, she makes off with $2 million in hush money that will apparently make it possible for her to head off to Broadway. So, of course — doing the right thing pays off. It’s wonderful! And it tells us that women who listen to the kindly Mr. Schuester — who “always gives the right advice” — end up better off.

This is a trend in Glee. We’ve got kindly white people (Mr. Schuester and Quinn in this episode) giving valuable advice to their social subordinates, with magical results. All of this goes to show, of course, that the white people (especially men!) in power are actually really wise and benevolent, and that if you were to listen to them, be nicer, work harder, settle down into a ‘real home’, and eat nourishing food that would properly sustain any fetuses you have might have in your womb, everything would be better for everybody.

4) “We got a deal here, right? I don’t try to change you, and you don’t try to change me.”

Kurt’s father, Burt, is dating Finn’s mother, after being set up as part of Kurt’s diabolical plan to get closer to Finn. All of this backfires, though, when Burt and Finn get along a bit too well, bonding about what Burt calls “guy stuff” (i.e. football). When Kurt confronts Burt about this, Burt reminds Kurt that he loves him, and rebuffs Kurt’s suggestion that Finn is the “son [he] always wanted”. Kurt should accept this, of course, because Burt is ‘sympathetic to [his] ‘stuff’” and sat through Riverdance three times. And further, they’ve got a deal: “I don’t try to change you, and you don’t try to change me.”

Isn’t that some version of the deal that has been struck with the “queer community” in general in the twenty-first century? “Okay, I guess you’re here to stay — and I guess we can be civil to you. But definitely do not, under any circumstances, try to change us. We will not be converted to your ‘lifestyle’.”

And of course, it’s not coincidence that “gay” is a lifestyle on Glee. Kurt is a charming character in some ways — but his queerness is made apparent mainly through his love of musical theatre, cosmetic products, and interior decorating. His sexuality is only on display in song (as in the “House is Not a Home” number, which he directs to Finn): it is his lifestyle, his interests and fashion choices, that his father doesn’t “try to change”.

The entire arc of this plot, of course, also functions to cast Kurt as a schemer, and an outsider to normative family relations. Witness the end, where Burt and Finn reconcile and sit down to watch a basketball game — while Kurt, feeling the loss of his father as punishment for pursuit of Finn, stands outside, spying through a window like an hysterical woman scorned in a stalker movie.

5) “This family manages. We get by. You just don’t know any differently because you think what we have is normal.”

The counter to this relationship, of course, is that of Finn with his mother. Finn isn’t pleased about having Burt take his long-dead father’s place, and he declares that he likes his family as it is. His mother replies: “This family manages. We get by. You just don’t know any differently because you think what we have is normal.” Later, she says, “We don’t need any more memories or ghosts. We need a family. A home.”

This is a more obvious example, I think, than the others I’ve raised, but let’s recap: a family is not a family, nor a home a home, without a male head of household. A single mother and son can “manage” or “get by”, but must indeed be haunted by their lost husband and father. They cannot be happy until they allow this lost husband and father to be replaced. And a young man who has never known his father cannot, either, know what “normal” is.

Naomi Wolf on the Male Brain

8 Jun

Naomi Wolf’s commentary on brains and gender today in the Globe and Mail makes it clear why essentialism is such risky business. As she writes:

Feminists understandably have often shied away from scientific evidence that challenges this critique of sex roles. After all, because biology-based arguments about gender difference have historically been used to justify women’s subjugation, women have been reluctant to concede any innate difference, lest it be used against them.

But now a spate of scientific analyses, based on brain-imaging technology and new anthropological and evolutionary discoveries, suggests we may have had our heads in the sand, and that we must be willing to grapple with what seem to be at least some genuine, measurable differences between the sexes.

Wolf goes on to discuss work by Dr. Helen Fisher and Dr. Michael Gurian. On Fisher’s work, Wolf writes:

… in her description of our evolution, Dr. Fisher notes that males who could tolerate long periods of silence (waiting for animals while in hunt mode) survived to pass on their genes, thus genetically selecting to prefer “space.” By contrast, females survived best by bonding with others and building community, since such groups were needed to gather roots, nuts and berries, while caring for small children.
Reading Dr. Fisher, one is more inclined to leave boys alone to challenge one another and test their environment, and to accept that, as she puts it, nature designed men and women to collaborate for survival. “Collaboration” implies free will and choice; even primate males do not succeed by dominating or controlling females. In her analysis, it serves everyone for men and women to share their sometimes different but often complementary strengths – a conclusion that seems reassuring, not oppressive.

Reassuring, maybe. And anecdotally, I might be inclined to agree that women are more verbal and more inclined to “build community” than men — but then, I certainly know men (heterosexual men, even!) who will happily spend hours gossiping around a French press. It seems more useful to suggest that it serves everyone for people to share their “sometimes different but often complementary strengths”, than it does to talk about this kind of complementarity as something that exists in a gender binary. Even if these differences are ‘wired in’ generally, they will certainly not hold true for all men, or all women. And even if these difference are ‘wired in’ generally, should we accept them as the basis for a functional society?

I don’t know Fisher’s work well, and I’m hesitant to characterize it based on a brief second-hand report. But I would have liked to see Wolf ask some more bigger questions here.

First, I’m not sure why she so eagerly reads and accepts the suggestion that we should take gender norms that presumably existed in hunter-gatherer societies as a basis for current childrearing practices. We simply don’t live in that kind of society any more, and our “survival” no longer literally depends on the norms that she outlines. I can see a lot of benefit to encouraging girls to “challenge each other and test their environment”, even if for that’s somehow less ‘instinctive’ for them. If it’s also true that it’s harder for girls than boys to build muscle mass, would we tell them not to bother trying? (I suppose that we do, in some ways — and that’s simply not acceptable either.) Should we really consent to be constrained by our purported biology?

Second, it strikes me as flat-out weird that any current feminist thinker would not, in fact, ask if there’s anything about current socialization of young girls that makes it seem that they have less instinctive interest in challenging their peers or testing their environments than do young boys. I’m not sure that it bears explaining, in fact, why young girls might be discourage from such “challenging” or “testing”. It’s a major lapse on Wolf’s part not to address this basic issue.

When she discusses Gurian’s work, however, Wolf’s comments are even more disappointing:

Michael Gurian, a neurobiology consultant, takes this set of insights further. [...]

He even posits that the male brain can’t “see” dust or laundry piling up as the female brain often can – which explains why men and women tend to perform household tasks in different ways. Men often can’t hear women’s lower tones, and their brains, unlike women’s, have a “rest” state (sometimes, he is thinking about “nothing”). [...]

Somehow, all this is liberating rather than infuriating. So much that enrages women, or leads them to feel rejected or unheard, may not reflect men’s conscious neglect or even sexism but simply their brains’ wiring. According to Dr. Gurian, if women accept these biological differences and work around them in relationships, men respond with great appreciation and devotion (often expressed non-verbally).

So — my response is pretty similar here. It seems that there’s a very basic question about the influence of social norms on this ‘brain wiring’, or on the way that it gets expressed in behavior, needs to be asked here, and Wolf’s not asking it. And then, really, how much are we willing to be constrained by our brain wiring? If it’s less “instinctive” for men to handle particular household tasks, does that get them off the hook? Or, if those are still necessary tasks, is it imperative upon them to simply learn to handle them? We can’t simply allow basic inequities in the division of domestic labour (and yes, that’s what laundry is) to persist because men are fortuitously wired in a way that gets them off the hook. That’s bad for everybody.

And again, of course, these differences don’t fall cleanly across gender lines. I’ll speak from experience here. I grew up in a household where, because of various issues in the family dynamic, I wasn’t terribly well trained in basic housekeeping skills. And sometimes I really “don’t see” clutter, dust, whatever. I’m working on it, slowly and systematically. Why? Not because I regard it as some kind of feminine imperative, but because I want to live in decent conditions, and because I don’t want to drive the people I live with insane. Just as it’s harder to learn a second language in adulthood — because of changes in the plasticity of the brain! — this is a much trickier set of skills to teach oneself as an adult. But you know, it can be done. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for people to expect this of me, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to expect it from other people (be they family, roommates, or partners).

I think that legitimate research in evolutionary biology (as Helen Fisher’s seems to be, from my other encounters with it) is fascinating, and potentially deeply revealing. But as individuals, as partners, as parents, or as teachers, we might actually do well not to be so ‘reassured’ by readings of this research that try to identify essential differences between the sexes. Instead, we might ask — who do we want to be? Biology might be destiny to a point (and I don’t believe that we can transcend it completely), but is it acceptable to use it as a collective excuse for perpetuating fundamental inequalities? Italic

Protecting Marriage on YouTube

8 Nov

It is, of course, much to my dismay that California voted in favour of Proposition Eight. It’s only since the election, however, that I’ve become aware of some of the materials posted by the “Yes” campaign — and I think they are instructive in understanding the real basis for objections to legislating same-sex marriage.

I have often said that I simply don’t understand the argument about same-sex marriage as a threat to ‘traditional’ marriage. On some level, I assumed that this whole debate was about something metaphysical, some fear that if you let the gays into the Magic House of Procreative Marriage, they’ll spread Sin Spores and everyone will get dirty. That kind of anxiety never made sense to me, and it left me feeling simply confused about the whole debate.

Then I watched this clip. It’s predictably manipulative, in a lot of ways. The description of Jan and Tom and their family is an almost-amusing construct of the ‘normal’ family: they own a minivan, they have a dog, Jan cooks while Tom mows the lawn, and they sure do love their gay neighbours. (Though, G-d forbid, not too much!) The general tone of the ad is calm, and the language clearly tries to be neutral, creating the impression that these arguments against gay marriage are reasonable, and not based on blind hatred. Of course, they talk about homosexuality as a ‘lifestyle choice’, suggest that ‘strong families’ need a heterosexual nucleus, and talk about tolerance of homosexuality (as if it’s something to tolerate?). If you’re in the habit of reading this kind of language, you’ll catch the nastiness under these euphemisms — but perhaps not otherwise.

What I find instructive about this ad is not so much its strategies of manipulation, however, but the concrete objections that it voices in relation to gay marriage. First, they express concern about ‘teaching gay marriage’ in public schools; second, they suggest that legalizing same-sex marriage is likely to result in government interference in churches, who they suggest might be forced to perform same-sex marriages. I have to read these objections as showing, in part, a desire to maintain institutionalized discrimination.

Rather than simply labelling these objections as discriminatory, though, I want to understand them. The issue of government interference in the church is a clear extension of the conservative tendency to limit (or pretend to limit) the scope of government in general. This objection creates a bit of a feedback loop, of course. It declares a desire to maintain the separation of church and state — but it wants to maintain that division by passing legislation that is in keeping with conservative Christian values. I can acknowledge that an individual congregation should have the right to determine its own collective values, and I quite agree that the state should have limited control over religious practices in general. But can’t this objection be addressed by simply affirming the separation of church and state? If there is a provision that allows same-sex couples to be married in town hall, or in progressive churches, but still allows individual congregations to refuse to perform ceremonies — well, that objection loses all validity, and we’re back to the Sin Spores argument. (As I understand it, Canadian legislation still leaves this choice up to individual churches, and our society hasn’t crumbled.)

It’s the argument about ‘teaching homosexuality’ in schools that I find to be most revealing. Instinctively, I find this argument to be absurd. As I see it, there is literally no possibility that reading King and King is going to change the sexual orientation of a single second-grader. What it might do is make a child with same-sex parents feel a bit less excluded — or, better yet, mean that when one of these kids hits high school and comes out (comes out anyway, to be clear), he or she will be a little less afraid, and a little less abused and persecuted by his or her peers. To me, that sounds like a good result.

Thinking about this issue a bit further, I asked — why would a person be so concerned about what their children see and hear? Why not trust that your child will develop the skills to sort out right from wrong on their own terms, and with your guidance?

My best guess is this: if you accept the authority of religious doctrine without question, then perhaps you believe that’s the only position a person can take in relation to authority, or in relation to information itself. Your concern then becomes teaching your children not to question authority, not to struggle to reconcile their beliefs and values and opinions with what they encounter in the world, but instead with controlling the authority to which your children are exposed.

I feel like this interpretation has given my some new insight — though I’m not sure quite where it leads me. It does, at least, remind me how happy I am to have been raised as I was, to understand doubt and questioning as part of real faith.

(Christian to Christians: if the Spirit is alive, shouldn’t we let Him move? And if God is love, isn’t He there when two people declare it?)

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